Already Gone
by mabelreid
Summary: One shot.  She came back to tell him something very important, but it might be too late.


_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hello all... This little one shot was inspired by the Kelly Clarkson song "Already Gone." I was listening to the radio and thought of this. I hope you enjoy it.**_

_** Already Gone**_

She knew something was different the minute she passed through the huge oak doors. Everything in her sight shifted to just a little off center from her reality. The church was the most beautiful she'd ever seen, but it was out of focus as though she saw it through grimy glass. She could hear others around her, but the conversations were muted. It was like trying to hear someone speak from another room even though they were right next to her.

She stepped through the chapel door and looked around at the pink and white roses, carnations and lilies hung in garlands along the pews and benches. Their perfume was stilted, like she'd come upon a long empty perfume bottle. The center aisle stretched out and seemed like it might snap back at her.

She slipped into the very back bench and side-stepped all the way to the far end near stain glass windows that depicted Old Testament scenes in detail that should have been wondrous but for the persistent wavy feeling that continued as she watched others collect in the chapel.

Something pulled her eyes to the left. Gideon stood there in a light grey suit with a matching tie and a white shirt. He looked at her, not as someone he knew, but as you might look through a stranger. She raised her hand in case he hadn't seen her, but he turned away and said something to Morgan. She let her eyes track away from the two men who were deep in conversation, to scan the rest of the chapel. Both sides were filling up fast with men, women and a few children dressed up and talking quietly to one another. The weird tone of the conversation carried on around her as if she was underwater and no one came to sit next to her or explain to her why everything was so strange.

Minutes passed and finally a door to the right of the chapel pews opened. A young man she recognized like someone from a half forgotten dream led someone into the chapel and when the other person stepped around her, her eyes suddenly cleared as though she'd burst through a solid barrier.

Reid walked to the front of the room, tugging at the black tie he wore with a black tuxedo. He stopped near the altar and she noticed the priest had entered and stood smiling at the congregation. The tone of the crowd took on another note, but she still couldn't hear anything.

There was something she was supposed to do. It was the reason she'd come back so quickly. She needed to say or do something very important, but she couldn't remember what it was. Her eyes tracked Spencer who stared at the back of the church. She tried to make eye contact with him, to let him know that it was okay, but he didn't look at her.

Music began to play and her ears finally unplugged. The familiar tune sent chills down her spine because there was something she was supposed to do. Why couldn't she remember? It was as if someone had reached in and taken certain memories out of her head. More chills tickled up and down her back as she watched Spencer watching the back of the room. He had an expression she thought she remembered seeing on his face, but… Oh, if only she could remember the reason for her urgency.

Everyone began to stand at some signal. She stood up and turned to the back of the chapel just like everyone else. A man and a woman stood there in sharp detail. She wore a long white gown and a veil over her face. She had dark hair and she was beautiful. The man next to her wore a dark suit and had graying hair with the same dark eyes.

As the man and woman began the walk down the aisle, she remembered why she'd come to this place. She turned as they walked and began to follow them with her eyes. She had to stop this. It was a mistake, but she couldn't find her voice. She could hear perfectly fine, but now her voice was gone. Her heart began to race as the woman in white met Spencer at the end of the aisle. They looked so right together that her stomach twisted. He'd moved on; found a way to go on without her. Who was she to try to mess that up?

_I love him!_

The priest began to speak as the music ended. He talked about the reason for them gathering. He spoke of love and the concept of joining in marriage two souls before God.

_Two souls…_

She clenched her hands into fists in her lap. The priest asked the question and she almost stood up and made a scene.

"If anyone can show just cause why these two should not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

_Forever!_

She couldn't make her legs stand up even though this was the reason she'd come here in the first place. Her eyes moved to Spencer's face and she saw the joy this other woman put into his eyes. If only she could've put such feeling in his eyes.

_If only…_

She held her peace as a solitary tear slid down her cheek. The priest began their deathless vows as she studied the couple holding hands near tall white candles that spread their golden brilliance over them so that they resembled angels.

_Her angel, now he belonged to someone else. Other hands would touch him and other lips would kiss him. Another heart would beat next to his when they embraced. Other arms would comfort him and make him feel safe. _

Her eyes flicked away from the bride and back to Spencer when the priest said they were man and wife. It was over so quickly. She'd lost her chance forever to make things right with Spencer. He belonged to someone else now.

Everyone stood up again as the new Dr. and Mrs. Reid made their way down the aisle to their new life together. She tried to walk toward them and congratulate them but her feet wouldn't move.

"They look so happy together."

She whirled around to see him standing there.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take you on." He said mysteriously.

Suddenly the smells became real to her and the flowers were overpowering, like too many wreaths at a funeral.

"I don't understand."

"You can't change the past. You should know that by now."

"I did what I had to do and now I've lost him."

"He was never yours to lose."

She nodded. "You're right… I knew it wouldn't do any good to come here, but I couldn't stop myself from trying."

White light, brighter than anything she'd ever seen, brighter than any light a person should be able to look at. Even so, she could look into it without squinting her eyes.

"Come with me Emily."

She took his outstretched hand. "I'm glad you came." She said.

"I'll always come for you." Matthew Benton said.

"Is it really time?"

"Yes, it's time for you to move on and leave the living to their lives. You did what you had to do. Ian Doyle is dead and rotting in hell. Come with me now and don't look back."

She let him lead her into the light because it was okay. Spencer was okay, she'd seen it in his eyes.

"Goodbye," She whispered. "I'll be waiting for you, my love."


End file.
